the other side of fear:

an earthquake and a friend’s lesson about stability

‘Bang!’: An Unexpected Visitor at the Door

Change. That unwelcome visitor who bursts into our lives with a loud bang and a cloud of dust. Like a sudden gust of wind, it pops the comfy bubble of safety we’ve painstakingly built over time, sending our world spinning. A jolt, a redirect, a reckoning—that’s how it landed fourteen years ago, unexpectedly rewriting the path I'd assumed lay ahead. But the event didn’t just reshape my world; it transformed me.
Simply put, it redefined my relationship with life itself.

The Known—from Head to Gut to Heart

‘Foundations’, ‘Bracing’, ‘Stability’, 'Balance'—language of the world I lived in as an architect. Yet, in just thirty-five seconds, a seismic event revealed more than textbooks or years of experience ever could. Its jolts cut through the mental dross of my certainties, laying bare the simple, enduring truth: real stability springs from the right kind of anchoring.
I was no stranger to the power of anchoring, having experienced its centering effect through yoga, stillness, and breath. These practices steadied mind, body, and soul—they also brought me home to myself. Whenever the ground threatened to give way, their fierce anchoring kicked in, radiating from my core. In the midst of those fated thirty-five seconds, it didn’t fail me.

Wisdom for Good and Not-so-Good Times

Life is an adventure. We share its joys and challenges. Step up to the plate, show up for the ride, and for each other!
This was the motto my socially-engaged friend Mimi lived by. How strange that the very quake that cut her life short and jolted me into my own life should deliver that same message—words I finally greeted, not just as a bittersweet memory, but as a call to action that tugged at my hermit bubble. It urged me to leave my retreat, step up, and drop my anchor deep in the everyday outer world too. To cultivate it even as I take risks and engage wholeheartedly. In short, to move beyond fear and uncertainty—sure—but also walk with others, grounding and further enriching all of our lives along the way.

Leaning into Possibilities

When change is upon us—a challenge, a setback, or even a win—what do we do? Do we numb ourselves, lick our wounds, and wait for time to fix everything or to heal us? What if, like Mimi, we consciously embraced self-empowerment and community as foundations that carry us through life’s flux? Would we step forward with open hearts and minds to meet our limits and our brilliance alike—and that of others too?
After the earthquake, I found my heart—and eventually my focus—gravitating toward self-care and empowerment work. Through that shift, I came to gradually embrace those very foundations.

The Power of Small Steps

Elsewhere in the cosmos, it’s anybody’s guess. But here on dear Earth, it’s up to each of us to thread our way to inner steadiness.
A pause.
A breath.
A return to self—with that alone, you’re already on firmer ground.
No matter what’s happening, you’ve now invited a lighter, more relaxed attitude, and your job is simple: build the skills you need to move through life with more ease and less stress or fear. From there, embrace a pace that works for you—one day at a time, in ways you can manage—remembering to welcome companions on the path. And if you slip and miss a day now and then, give yourself some grace. Skillful living isn't a sprint. It's the long haul.

All About Perspective: When Life knocks, are you listening?

As I write this, I can almost hear Mimi’s voice calling from beyond:
“Look past your comfort zone, La P’tite*, for what lies on the other side.”
With its bitter sting, the mighty quake delivered what I’ve come to see—gratefully—as the parting gift from a life-ripened old friend. Finally, her brave-living (a.k.a. fuller-living) insights, shared years before, were breaking through to me.
Indeed, I walk the path I’m on now, in subtle ways, because of her legacy.

So here’s the invitation: Pause, Breathe, Return to Yourself—and then, Walk alongside Others. That’s where real anchoring begins.

*La P’tite (her nickname for me) = French for “little one” or “young one”.

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If this resonates with you, please share your thoughts and reflections below. Let’s learn together—and from each other—as we move through life’s ever-shifting ground.