the other side of fear:

what an earthquake and a friend taught me about real stability

‘Bang!’: An Unexpected Visitor at the Door

Change. That unwelcome visitor who sometimes bursts into our lives with a loud bang and a cloud of dust. Like a sudden gust of wind, it pops the comfy bubble of safety we’ve built over time, sending our world spinning. A jolt, a redirect, a reckoning—that’s what happened to me fourteen years ago. Quite unexpectedly, the path I'd assumed lay ahead was rewritten. That event didn’t just transform my world; it transformed me.
Simply put, it redefined my relationship with life itself.

The Known—from Head to Gut to Heart

‘Foundations’, ‘Bracing’, ‘Stability’, 'Balance'—language woven into the world I lived in as an architect. Yet, in just thirty-five seconds, a seismic event revealed a bigger picture than textbooks—or even years of practice—ever could. Its fierce jolts cut through the mental dross of my certainties, laying bare the simple, enduring truth: real stability springs from the right kind of anchoring.
Oddly enough, I was no stranger to the power of anchoring. I’d experienced its centering truth, radiating from my core through yoga, stillness, and breath. These practices didn’t just steady mind, body, and soul—they brought me home to myself. And whenever the ground gave way, that anchor never failed to kick in—including during those fated thirty-five 35 seconds.

Wisdom for Good and Not-so-Good Times

Life is an adventure. We share its joys and challenges. Step up to the plate, show up for the ride, and for each other!
This was the motto my socially-engaged friend Mimi lived by. How strange that the very quake that cut her life short and jolted me into my own life should deliver that same message—words I finally greeted, not just as a bittersweet memory, but as a call to action that tugged at my hermit bubble. It urged me to step up and drop my anchor deep in the everyday outer world as well—and cultivate it even as I take risks and engage wholeheartedly. Moving beyond fear and uncertainty—sure—but also walking with others, grounding and further enriching our lives along the way.

Leaning into Possibilities

When change is here—a challenge, a setback, or even a win—do you numb yourself, lick your wounds, and wait for time to fix it all, to heal you? What if, like Mimi, we embraced both self-empowerment and community as foundations we can count on to carry us through life’s flux? Would we step forward with open hearts and minds to meet both our limits and our brilliance—and that of others too?
After the earthquake, my heart—and eventually my focus—gravitated toward self-care and empowerment work. In that shift, I found myself gradually embracing those very foundations—both within and beyond.

The Power of Small Steps

Elsewhere in the cosmos, it’s anybody’s guess. But here on dear Earth, it’s up to each of us to thread our way to inner steadiness.
A pause.
A breath.
A return to self—with that alone, you’re already on firmer ground.
No matter what’s happening, you’ve now invited a lighter, more relaxed attitude, and your job is simple: build the skills you need to move through life with more ease and less stress or fear. From there, embrace what works for you—one day at a time, in ways you can manage—remembering to welcome companions on the path. And if you slip and miss a day now and then, give yourself some grace. Skillful living isn't a sprint. It's the long haul.

All About Perspective

As I write this, I can almost hear Mimi’s voice:
“Look beyond your comfort zone, la p’tite*, for what lies on the other side.”
With its bitter sting, the mighty quake delivered what I’ve come to see—gratefully—as the parting gift from a life-ripened old friend. Finally, her brave-living (a.k.a. fuller-living) insights, shared years before, were breaking through to me.
Indeed, I walk the path I’m on now, in subtle ways, because of her legacy.

*la p’tite (her nickname for me) = French for “little one” or “young one”.

When Life knocks, who’s listening?

So here’s the invitation: pause, breathe, return to yourself—and then, walk alongside others. That’s where real anchoring begins.
If this resonates with you, please share your thoughts and reflections below. Let’s learn together—and from each other—as we move through life’s ever-shifting ground.